Safe-Listing

Safe-Listing is an unconscious process women execute when assessing a man, particularly one who has or may have value to them as a sexual partner.

Speaking in simple evolutionary terms, women are much more guarded and selective about whom they agree to fuck and with whom they’ll allow themselves to be vulnerable than men are. This is for a number of reasons:

1)   Men, generally being bigger and stronger, are obviously capable of inflicting violence upon women. A woman is not going place herself in a scenario of vulnerability with a man she views as potentially threatening or unsafe.

2)   Men are obviously able to copulate with and impregnate dozens, if not hundreds, of women in a relatively short time span. From the evolutionists’ perspective, this gives him countless chances to allow his genes to be transferred to a future offspring. Women, meanwhile, are much more invested; the duration and restrictions of female pregnancy mean that if she’s going to have sex and expose herself to the chance (however minimal) of pregnancy, it had better be with an adequate genetic resource or a decent provider.

So what does this information mean to you quasi-literate clowns who can’t use four-syllable words in casual conversation?

Women, possessing the Darwinian critical eye, are going to be skeptical of anything a man does or says until he gets Safe-Listed. It doesn’t matter if it’s an innocuous comment or a bold gesture such as grabbing her ass – if a man is not on a woman’s Safe List, she’s likely going to respond negatively.

She’s going to respond more negatively to a more extreme action or remark, which is one of the myriad reasons all those books on ‘How to Talk to Women’ or ‘What to do with a Woman in Bed’ are utter panda shit: her response to whatever a man does is dependent upon on how high on a woman’s Safe List or how low on a woman’s Unsafe List said man is.

Extremely Charismatic or polarizing men are going to make a lot of women hate them right out of the gate, because their extremist comments and conduct is going to be like nails on chalk board to a woman who hasn’t Safe Listed him.

Obviously, in most cases it behooves a man to get Safe-Listed by women, particularly women he wants to sleep with. Here are some ways to get Safe Listed:

1)   Social Proof

This is the easiest way to get Safe Listed, in my opinion. Having someone, or better yet several people, vouch for you is the least complicated way to get a woman to drop her emotional and physical barriers.

Surely you’re familiar with the concept of having Mutual Friends, or having a Mutual Friend act as a liaison between two relative strangers. For women, having a strange man “approved” by a Safe Listed acquaintance or friend is going to be the quickest way to get her to warm up to you.

Most athletes, celebrities, and the like have built-in Social Proof. Women will typically Safe List a man of celebrity, regardless of his personal appeal to her, because she may feel she knows enough about him from seeing him acting, dancing, playing sports, singing, etc. Because he has proven his value to society, he has been “pre-qualified”, and most women will be apt to see his actions and words in a positive light (even if the logical parts of their brains are telling them otherwise).

Lesser lights with high social value include people such as doctors, firemen, policemen, etc. Anyone who has a skill that society values, particularly if the skill has specific value to a woman (for example, a plastic surgeon has specific value to a woman because he theoretically can keep her beautiful for an extended period of time), has built-in Social Proof and is more apt to be Safe-Listed by women.

In general, in our society higher social stature is commensurate with higher income; a doctor, someone who can preserve life, is more highly compensated and sought-after than a personal trainer, who can enhance health but can’t necessarily remove a cancerous tumor. The dynamic between salary and social placement is mostly parallel and reciprocal.

You could divide Male Social Proof into three Tiers: Celebrity (pro athletes, rock stars, actors, etc.), Productive (doctors, lawyers, police officers, etc.), and Lower-End (bartenders, servers, retail clerks…pretty much any non-specialized or minimally specialized field). The higher Tier a man is in, and then the higher he is within said Tier, the more Social Proof he is likely to have. Thus, more women are likely to Safe-List him.

2)   Time Accrued

Have you ever noticed how people who spend a lot of time together, such as people who live, go to school, or work together end up as great friends or in sexual relationships? Even when there isn’t immediate attraction?

This is the most notable example of Time Accrued.

From the time a woman comes into contact with a man, a little invisible clock starts that keeps track of all the time they spend together. When a certain amount of time has lapsed (which, in general, will greatly vary from man to man), a woman will automatically and unconsciously Safe-List a man. Then, if the man has adequate Reproductive Value (sexual appeal) to the woman, she may begin to develop feelings of lust or sexual attraction for the man.

Again, this can and often does occur, even if there was little or no sexual attraction from the woman at the onset of the relationship.

This is why we date. Men take women to places of relative safety (bars, restaurants, movie theaters, mini-golf courses, S&M workshops, etc.) to allow time to lapse from a woman’s intangible Time Accrued clock. While neither sex might be consciously aware of this, both sexes instinctively know this to be true.

As stated above, every woman’s Time Accrued clock is going to vary quite a bit from man to man. A man to whom a woman is attracted may have a very short Time Accrued clock (such as under one hour), where as a potentially threatening or unattractive man may have a much longer clock (eight or more hours). In my experience, the time a strange man takes to get Safe Listed will be 3-9 hours, which coincidentally enough is the average time it takes to complete three typical dates.

With practice, men can get better at lowering the Time Accrued clocks on most women. By getting better at building comfort, rapport, and eventually trust in shorter time frames and windows of opportunity, a man can get himself Safe-Listed through the Time Accrued pathway.

(SF Note: The downside of getting Safe-Listed this way is that it may negate a woman’s desire to sleep with a man. If a man builds rapport with a woman by telling embarrassing childhood stories, humiliating himself, or otherwise depicting himself as a clown or pussy, she may begin to view him as a ‘buddy’ or ‘brother’, thus dispersing any sexual feelings she may have had toward him. Longtime readers, you may notice this TIES DIRECTLY INTO LADDER THEORY, which is why Ladder Theory is still the most consequential piece in the history of writing.)

3)   The Free Pass or The Lifetime Pass

The Free Pass is given when a woman wants to sleep with a man based on pure physical attraction and lust. This is the same thing as having a crush on someone you’ve never spoken to; no matter what comes out of his or her mouth, it’s likely to be received with the most positive spin possible. A woman who has unconsciously issued a man a ‘Free Pass’ has Safe-Listed him without regard to Social Proof, Time Accrued, or any other precursors.

The Lifetime Pass is an unlimited Free Pass. Some women want to sleep with certain guys no matter what these men do or say to them. Female-to-male Sexual Attraction like this sometimes defies all and any explanation or logic, and admittedly incidence of this is rare.

Male Safe-Listing?

Men generally do not Safe-List women. In my estimation, if a man wants to sleep with a woman, he’s ready to rail her from the moment he lays eyes on her. If he doesn’t initially want to sleep with her, there’s little she can immediately do to enhance her standing (with the possible exceptions of chemically-altering him through alcohol and drugs and/or paying him).

Most men could give a hot fuck about Social Proof. Miley Cyrus may or may not be a gifted, rich musician, but I could care less, because I find her to be a heinous, vulgar beast. Unless she’s willing to pay Duquesne University a considerable portion of my student loans or buy me another 1997 Eagle Talon TSI (manual), I’m probably not banging her.

By contrast, Scarlet Johansson could be a babbling, crazy bag lady, pushing a Foodland shopping cart aimlessly up and down Mount Washington, and I would still want to bend her over my couch every minute of every day. 

Time Accrued is equally irrelevant to men. Watch any chick flick or teen soap opera where the girl next door continuously throws her cooch at the dopey Paul Rudd/James Van der Beek-type, and notice how the amount of time the two spend together talking and taking walks along the shore isn’t prompting him to rip her clothes off. If a man isn’t fucking a woman, it isn’t a matter of his reluctance to be vulnerable with her.

Final Remarks

Safe-Listing is something that has developed in women over time as a means of selecting the best possible mate or mates.

Because men are less concerned with a woman’s ability in child rearing and providing, and because they don’t have nearly as much invested in a potential pregnancy, they’re likely to be much less selective about whom they sleep with.

The ideal goal for a man is not to trick a woman into trusting him, but to get Safe-Listed through one or more of the mechanisms described above. Then, if the man has adequate Replication Value (sex appeal), a woman will be much more apt to fuck him (which is usually a man’s main intention). At the very least, getting Safe-Listed by a woman is likely to provide an in-roads to meeting other women, as being Safe-Listed and “Pre-Approved” by another woman offers a fairly high degree of Social Proof.

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About sfarrell11000
All over the place

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